I love the Narcissist's Blog. Check it out if you haven't already. I started to respond to her latest post, on Threesomes, and realized it was a whole blog post of it's own. So, here it is.
I can't remember the last time I was in a relationship that my partner didn't ask me if I would have a threesome with them. Before I was a monogamous married gal I was a casual dater and lover of casual sex. I dated both men and women and have lived romantically with both women and men. I've had LOTS of threesomes. I loved casual threesomes.
My experience was that having a threesome in a relationship was shitty (except strangely when Beth and I regularly brought home guys to play with- that rocked). Invariably someone would get hurt. He'd be upset that I seemed to cum SO HARD with her or I'd be upset and insecure because he'd ask 40 times afterwards when we could do that again and I'd feel like he never wanted sex with just me, or she'd get upset that he fucked me more or.. oh you get it. Someone would get hurt or feel left out or be upset or jealous or all of the above. It was ENDLESS drama. Enough of these foibles in every possible configuration added up and I swore off of relationship threesomes forever. I decided the only threesomes I wanted were the very casual and nobody cares for anybody kind, or being the "guest star".
My husband and I were monogamously married for 12 years, and then we opened up. In the course of our dating we ended up separately dating the same girl. Eventually we dated her together. We had a small number of really great threesomes until he fell asleep in one and we kept going. He woke to me cumming with her fist in my pussy and got really jealous and hurt both that we'd kept going and that I'd sounded different than he'd heard me sound in a while. (My husband is AMAZING in bed.. and yes it was in his head). Until he worked through it he could barely look at me for weeks. He was so angry and hurt it left me and the girl kinda shell shocked and that pretty much ended Hubby and the girl and I playing together, even when Hubby said he was okay again. It had come out of nowhere and we weren't taking any chances.
I had another threesome since opening up, this one with Kinky Boy and his girlfriend who'd somehow convinced me maybe she wasn't totally straight after all. She was. You can imagine how much that sucked. I was the guest star somehow, but it was with a guy I was seeing and cared about and his straight girlfriend he was trying to appease and make into some thing she wasn't. That was doomed from the start and it was as abysmal as you'd predict.
So, I kinda swore off of threesomes again, but I am again changing my mind. See.. I love them. It's hot. I love free easy wonderful enticing threesomes. I'm having a hard time throwing that baby out with the bathwater again. When things with hubby and Rollergirl were good, they were very good. I started to think.. how could I have threesomes in my polyamorous life?
So, Great Date would like a threesome. A threesome with him would be fun, but... uh.. oh....
We've talked and talked about it. We'll talk about it some more. See.. I think we could do it and it could go well under a few conditions. I think if we went to the local swing club and found a fun person to play a little with we could test the waters. If that went well I think we could have some occasional fun. Unlike Hubby, both Great Date and I can have casual sex. I think it'd be hot to share a woman with Great Date and to share Great Date temporarily with a sexy girl. I don't think it'll work if either he or I is romantically involved with her at this time, but I think we could both enjoy it sexually. He seems to get it'd be a very occasional thing with no promises of future activity and I get that too.
It might be that we'd find somebody we'd want to see again and it might not. We might play and decide we don't want to take it that far. We might love it and swing together from time to time. I don't know, but it's a very sexy thought.
I'm healing, so we aren't going this weekend, and we have more introspection and talking to do, but I guess it's at least back on the table.