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Skiing with Prejudice but not with Malice

I have a bunch of rants in my head about things but one that just came up.

I was riding in the car with Traveler to do some Christmas shopping and we were talking about scheduling.  I ask, “Oh yeah.. when is the Utah ski trip by the way?”.  He says “Well.. it’s Super Bowl weekend, so normally I’d be coming back Sunday night, but I think I’m going to stay Sunday night because of the Super Bowl, you know, to watch it there”.  Hmm.. all *I statements*.

“Has it turned into a boys only thing?”.

“No. A lot of people are going.”

“Is it just the guys though?”

“No…Quinky Girl is coming.”

Oh.

lego ski couple

lego ski couple from http://jestergoblin.com

He was puzzled.  I said, “Um.  I was invited to that.  We were all talking about going. Remember.  You said it would be fun if we all went, when your friends were here.  You asked me in the Irish place if I would come and I said I would.  And we told your other friend, when we were in Portland, that we’d see her on the ski trip. I thought.. I thought I was still going.  Am I not going?”

Silence.  “I’m sorry.  There will be some work people there I’m not out to yet. So, I’m only taking Quinky Girl.”

Bright smile.  “Oh.  Sure!  No problem”. Brittle laugh. Continue Reading »

16 Comments

Seasons

handsSo I haven’t written much because I was processing stuff internally and because I don’t like to communicate via blog.  Cleveland doesn’t read this a lot, but still.

I think we are breaking up.  I said I’d sleep on it, and I will.

It’s hard and shitty and sad. And I’m not sure.  But it’s been a long time coming.  We started to get frustrated talking and decided to sleep on it.  It’s murky.  I know I love him.  I know that I love spending time with him and talking to him and doing things with him and fucking him.  I know I love his sweetness and his intelligence and his lovely dirty mind.  I love podcasting and talking about bloggy things.  I love how good he is at so many things.  And I love his interests.  I’d like to have him in my life.

But I can’t keep doing this.  And I feel TERRIBLE for it.  But it is simply the truth.  This hurts too much.  We don’t really have the room to have a relationship and it just doesn’t work.  I want it to, but it doesn’t.  We’ve had this talk before and I asked for things, the bare minimums for what I thought I needed.

Continue Reading »

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Kittens

I got kittens. I can’t stop grinning. :-)

7 Comments

Learning Stuff

If you pay attention, you’re always learning stuff about yourself and those you love.

I’ve learned some stuff lately.

  • Sometimes people seem at first like they have a lot of common interests, but when you talk to them more.. these are really superficial matches and sometimes not even that, so a bit of time gabbing can be useful.
  • I don’t like “princess” girls, stupid girls, girls who are wildly unsafe sexually, girls who have really strong feelings about piercings needing to be delicate to be beautiful, or girls that have ridiculously foofy dogs they dress in dresses and pose on pink couches.  clit.. shriveling.
  • Traveler has WAY looser standards for some sorts of dating partners than I do.
  • My job site does in fact somehow manage (even with the longest and most ridiculous hiring process ever) to hire crazy and dumb people and I don’t wanna sleep with them.
  • green bra 2I like requests to take naughty picture sets with my lovers and my pussy is rather nice from that angle.  Mmmm.
  • Piercings are very photogenic.
  • I can get the piercings I’ve wanted for months and months and months and use nylon space holders when I have surgery.  Piercings back on the table!
  • My pussy needs labia rings.
  • Traveler and I both want and like a certain sex act we didn’t know the other liked.  Yay for threesome talks where the sexual interest isn’t into it but we realized we both are!  So much fun to explore!
  • Chemistry and intensity can grow and grow and grow.
  • incontinence pads are actually really soft and absorbent and sexy and it’s sooooo nice to sleep on a clean dry bed after beautifully gushing to hot hot sex.
  • I like threesomes and would like more of them.
  • Being stood up by a woman you were uncertain of while you are having a very fun conversation with your boyfriend is pretty cool actually.
  • You should not make big judgements at 4 am after reading  a surprise email that wasn’t super fun.  Spinning about it for a while later in the morning, also before eating and getting centered, is also ill-advised.
  • I value transparency and being informed when it comes to my partners.  Things that feel like they were sneakily done feel like secrets and wig me out.  I feel safest when I feel informed.
  • I LOVE collaborating in love in even more ways and it’s wonderful to be able to plan around your loves getting time together when you can.
  • I want her and she’s not attainable, and that is okay.
  • Rob Roy on 2nd Avenue has delicious old-fashioneds.
  • Sometimes sexy girls from OKC DO like me back.
  • Talking so wonderfully with sexy girls for hours is great foreplay.
  • Making out and getting a woman mostly naked in my new car is a lot easier than in my mini.
  • I think it’s hot when she forgets an article of clothing in my car.
  • Talking absolutely filthily to sexy girls while making out makes them deliciously wet… deliciously wet.
  • Sometimes sexy girls think your boyfriend is hot and would entertain some lovely naughty fun with them.  Yay for threesomes back on the table.
  • Warm and wonderful dates that flow from sleepily snuggling to sleepy sex to again sleepily snuggling are HOT.
  • I can’t wait to make pies with my loves and then EAT PIES with my loves!
4 Comments

Owned

Traveler added me to his OK Cupid dating profile.

I cannot say enough how much I love this.  I teared up.  My beautiful man listed me as one of his partners.  He isn’t out in many places, but out there dating he claimed me.  I am one of his partners.  He let people he would date and play with know right up front that I exist and it makes me feel safe and important and loved.  I’m listed right there in the first section as his girlfriend, with how long we’ve been together and a link to my profile and everything.

Traveler and I are OKC official.  :D

5 Comments

Telling Her

Traveler said all the things.

We have a sexy gal prospect we’ve been talking to and that we’d see separately and together.  It’s a situation that freaks me out a little less than other situations with Traveler dating again, and that’s a little nice.  I’m dealing with stuff that’s coming up in a smaller and less scary way.  Part of it is that I’m talking to her too and that it would be a thing we’d share.  Part of it is that she’s a very busy professional who is very much against dating seriously, and that makes it less scary for me.  And part of it is I don’t think she’s a good match in a broader sense.  It’s a lot easier for me to imagine him having excellent sex and everything being okay. Him having more excellent sex is actually kinda hot.  I wish for him ALL of the excellent sex.

And the unicorn hunted us.

Girls Laughing Together Intimately found at https://www.threedollarbillcinema.org

Continue Reading »

5 Comments

Want

This one has a lot of talk about piercings and a fantasy with one of my loves, so skip this one if you like.  ;)

leather cuffs, can be bought from amazon.

leather cuffs, can be bought from amazon.

(Amazon Link to Leather Blindfold) <- click here.

(Amazon Link to Leather Cuffs) <- click here.

So Traveler and I fished the same girl.  It was bound to happen, but we both started talking to her on the same day (yesterday) and about many of the same things, sharing very similar interests.  And holy fuck. I’m getting my piercings as soon as I get back from my weekend away.  I don’t care and I can’t wait.

I told this girl, Threes we’ll call her, about the piercings I wanted and we got all worked up talking about it because she’d found me via my answers about piercing questions.  She shares my interest.  And when I told her how I’d been planning for MONTHs to get them this month and that I was totally crestfallen to put them off because of surgery in a few months she said “why don’t you just do it and get nylon piercings to hold the holes while you do surgery?  Eureka.

I’m getting them ASAP.  I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT!  All those months of planning and dreaming and thinking about them and all the porn and pictures and imaginings.  Growl.  Yes!

And oh god I have a fantasy.

It’s graphic.  You were warned.  Do not read this is fantasies about me and my loves would be at all upsetting.  Continue Reading »

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