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The Missing Piece

Traveler and Quinky Girl are off to spend the better part of the week with Traveler’s family.  Ugh.  I miss them already.  One of the shitty things about loving both of them is that it sucks a little when they are away.. but it’s all good stuff.  They need time with their families and with each other sometimes, and it makes them both happier and healthier to take the time, so I don’t begrudge it.  I will miss the FUCK out of them, and I may pout a little back here, but I hope they’ll have a great time and good experiences.  I wish the world was a little different and I could meet Traveler’s parents, and I may get to meet them one day as “the friend” of Traveler and Quinky Girl, but I doubt he’ll ever come out to them.  It is what it is and it rarely affects my life.  

It seems like it’s just that time of year again.  Jonah is in his last week of 3 weeks away, and at least I’ll get a date with Traveler and maybe time with Quinky Girl when they come back and before I have to go away for a week for work.  I’m getting excited about seeing old friends and about learning this new treatment, and it’s cool that my work trip will be where I used to live a few years back.  

So, here we go with everyone traveling again.  I’ll try to make use of the time and spend time with friends and maybe do a little writing or painting.  I’ll try not to mope more than totally necessary.  Part of loving people is loving the things that make them happy as much as possible.  Working on that one.


Stress Relief

Skip this one if talk of me having sex with one of my loves would bother you.  ;)  *muah*

A couple canoodles romantically on a bench overlooking the golfcourse

A couple canoodles romantically on a bench overlooking the golf course

You know what really gets rid of stress? 

  1. deep rich kisses you can’t get enough of
  2. Hot hot steamy sex.
  3. The kinda sex where it’s so good you purposely tease yourself because you wanna make it last and ride it out and just can’t quit yet.. and you go so close so many times he takes over, fucking you so hard you shake and flood and you’re deliciously sore the next day
  4. a delicious whiskey cocktail
  5. Intense, connected, sharing-breath, passionate, loving, grinding, aching, yearning, begging, panting, shaking deliciousness together
  6. being held and holding your lover for hours, petting each other and loving the wealth of touch
  7. dinner you didn’t have to cook
  8. his beautiful body.. everything to do with it.  The sight, the feel, the taste.  His warm skin.  His scent.  The sweet delicious taste of him.
  9. sleeping curled together, feeling so safe and so loved
  10. petting him until you both fall asleep because touching him is like GETTING a massage
  11. his sweet words.  god.  the things he says!
  12. pampering him a little
  13. having him pamper you too
  14. laughing together and hitting golf balls
  15. having him teach you yet another thing
  16. talking about things you’ll do in the future together in passing, because to your love it’s a fact you’ll be there.
  17. telling your love all about your terrible work week and seeing that you are being listened to.  They aren’t on their phone or distracted or doing anything but listening to you because they are interested in you
  18. eating dinner and having a good laugh with people you love

Thank god for great dates and great loves.

I’m off now to dinner and a lovely cocktail again.  Also so stress relieving. 

Let’s not be greedy and expect all..

18 things

all the time dears. ;)

a golf couple walk off into the sunset in sillouette

a golf couple walk off into the sunset in sillouette


Hello There

When someone goes and reads through all the old blog posts I can see it and I get an alert that my stats are going crazy. I can tell the difference when it’s a machine mapping me and when it is someone reading and/or listening to all the old podcasts.  I love that.  

I always wonder if it’s someone I know reading back on things or someone new, maybe someone that relates to something about all of this.  I always hope it isn’t someone new to poly looking for reassurance, because I’m afraid the history here doesn’t look so good.  I suppose it does if they keep reading.  

I often write with no thought to who might be reading, purposely not thinking about those who read it because that kinda paralyses me sometimes.  Other times I write with someone in mind.. a letter to them I never send.. my heart aching for my lover or giddy remembering some thing.  

Right after one of these, seeing someone reading dozens of blogs I always wish I could write to YOU.  I always wonder what brings you here or why you come back or stay.  I wonder if you relate, if there are others out there with thoughts like these.  Every once in a great while one of those readers emails me or comments on a little thing here or there, and it’s a reward each time.  If I never hear from you, if whatever it is you are here for wouldn’t jibe with contacting me, I just wanted to say thank you, and I hope it helped or entertained or made you feel or whatever.  Thank you for reading, new or old reader.  Thank the rest of you for reading too.  I can’t tell you what it means to have a place to put all of this stuff where there is occasionally community or at the very least stats that say someone saw this.. usually a lot of you saw this. I watch my stats like a hawk and I am rewarded when the numbers go up or I see one that maybe clicked a bit.  I celebrate each milestone of readers and thrill to see the posts that are most clicked on or visited.  I just wanted to say I don’t know who you are, but I know you’re there and I wanted to say welcome and thanks.  


Relationships Bring Up Old Ideas

Ever get to the root of something and discover you’re kinda being a ninny?  Ever realize you are responding with fear or some old feeling or thought that when you get down to it doesn’t make sense?  Yeah.  Relationships are good at that.  

mirrorI’ve been not-so-subtly giving Traveler shit from time to time since I realized he banks with THE WORST bank possible.  And that he was afraid to deposit checks with his phone.  We live in Seattle and the man works in the tech industry and loves to use his computer for finances.  This made no sense.  He was scared to do it, but once I did it in front of him and showed him how easy it actually was he tried it.  Previously he’d resisted, I think fearing that it was some complicated process.  It’s not.  You sign it, log into your bank (even his horrible bank) and take a pic of the front and back of your check.  It’s even easier than addressing a deposit envelope.  

I teach budgeting at work and part of my class is every semester downloading a small number of bank’s latest options for checking and savings and fees and such and having the class help decide what back is best for them.  Some people like to go into banks or credit unions and some like internet banking and features, so the best one varies but is usually one of 3 top banks and credit unions.  2 huge national bank chains are ALWAYS the worst.  I include them to contrast what a decent bank or credit union offers.  We put the info on the board in a big grid and every single time every single member of class says something like “Jesus.. that’s a terrible bank.  Why would anyone have an account with them?!?!?”  Good question.  Traveler has an account with them.  He’s had it since he was a lad and he avoids lots of fees by using very few features and letting them have a ton of his money at all times so he incurs less fees.  Nevermind that this bank also has the most lawsuits each year for terrible practices and has been sued and cited time and again for terrible mistreatment of customers.  Also never mind that they don’t have better credit cards Traveler would qualify for and they are pretty fucking evil and do harm in the world.  Traveler lets them hold his money.  Worse yet, he’s defensive when shown facts about this bank.  <facepalm>.  

Sometimes we’re like this.  

donkey mirror Continue Reading »



I found a new toy I want.  It’s a harness that has comfortable straps, a very versatile connect for a variety of size dildos, pouches for a vibrator above or below, the ability to wear it with a double sided dildo, and is machine washable.  I read all the reviews and have made the choice.  This is the one. 

The Joque Spareparts Harness

The Joque Spareparts Harness

The Awesome Joque Spareparts Harness -If you’d like to check it out at Amazon.  :)

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At the End of the Week

It’s Friday and I’m signing out of my work computer after a pretty epic week of bureaucracy and meetings and creating templates and planning meetings and meetings about meetings and even one incident where I yelled at a Veteran in a therapy group.  Yeah.  It was that sort of week. 

I need kisses..

I need hugs.

I need a drink the size of my head.

west seattle view

I’m off to Traveler and Quinky Girl’s house.  It was the kind of week where we really need to sit with Quinky Girl before our date, with our feet up and her delicious libations in hand, watching the clouds and the breeze and sipping with their music playing behind us and the sun on the water out below.  I need my loves.  I need to slowly unwind the coiled spring in my jaw and to sigh with happiness with my loves. 

Later I’ll spend time with Traveler, catching up since he’s been away this week, getting my fill of pettings and kisses and sweet nothings.  Later still I’ll get my fill of him, but right now.. right now I have to get off of this fucking computer and away from this wretched desk and this exhausting week and drink yummy things with my loves.  Ahhhhhhh.. it’s the weekend.


What’s Sexier Than a Big Ol’ Romantic Date?

Reclining man floating languid and relaxed in a tropical pool

Reclining man floating languid and relaxed in a tropical pool

What’s sexier than a big ol’ romantic date?  What’s sexier than a sweet loving affectionate date where you run errands and have fun finding things together? 


I like dates where you share a little bit of life sometimes, affectionate everyday time, and then leave a boyfriend-shaped dry spot on the bed that you won’t find until he leaves in the morning, because your flood ran over his hips while you tortured him after he came.  All because you can’t.. stop… riding… him.  Sharing life and passions makes me feel sexy and loved. 

Grin.  Happy.

A floating man's legs trailing in the pool

A floating man’s legs trailing in the pool


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