Well Kiss My Grits

*** Just a small correction.  I accidentally gave the impression that I was upset and one of my relationships was in trouble or something.  That’s clumsy writing and not the case at all.  I was disgruntled and disappointed about one tiny bit of a plan being messed up, not the whole enchilada.  Sorry about that!  So, clarification.  My relationships are good and I’m happy.. almost goofily so.  I was just venting about a disappointment and a sticky minute.  Having gotten to do that, I feel a lot better and things are still totally cool.  They were the whole time.  I was talking about a small part of a plan, not a whole association.  :)***


I know it’s not a misunderstanding.  I didn’t get it wrong.  I am aware I didn’t.  We put it there in black and white together and excitedly discussed the plan a bunch of times, laying out all of the maybes and talked about our lists of fun shit to do.  They changed their minds and don’t want the plan any more.  They had to change it.  When I balked I had slippery sand for my feet, so I said “I guess it’s just a misunderstanding”.  I was trying to save my face and not admit my disappointment because they were making me feel small for protesting.  It worked.

I know it isn’t a misunderstanding and they know it isn’t too.

“I thought this and I didn’t think it’d be a huge deal”.

What am I going to do?  Demand they want what they said they wanted?  Throw a fit over something small and rather insignificant, even if it is a wrench right in the middle?  Make a big deal over something so tiny?

Nope.  They know I’m not fooled and are giving me an out too.  They’re letting me say it doesn’t matter.  I’m disappointed.  Stuff I was excited about isn’t going to happen.  I mean, no puppies will die over it, but yeah… I am legitimately a little disappointed.

They are totally allowed to change their minds and I’m totally allowed to feel disappointed about it.  And I suppose we’re both allowed to give each other the out.

kiss my grits

Waitresses from “Alice”, the sitcom where Flo regularly said the catch phrase “Kiss my grits!”, give each other the side-eye.

“It’s a misunderstanding” and “I didn’t think it would be a big deal”.  Kinda bullshit.

But it’s a bullshit that lets us both save face and keep the peace I crave.  They aren’t made to feel bad for feeling like they had to do something that frankly kinda sucks.  And I am not forced to acknowledge that I’m the big dumb dog who was left still wanting what we both said we wanted after they changed their mind.  I hate almost nothing more than being the big dumb dog.

And now to remember is really is a small thing, have my tiny pout, let it out and let it go, and move on.  Well kiss my grits.


Traveler and I Celebrate

Traveler and I have been together two years, as of Saturday.  :)

image on Beyonce arched upon the sand from http://basketsblanches.com

image on Beyonce arched upon the sand from http://basketsblanches.com

I can’t believe another year has gone by.  We’re actually celebrating next week with a little “stay-cation” extended weekend, but yesterday was the actual day, and we celebrated in our little style.  Heh.  We cleaned gutters.  Relax.. that’s not all.. but hear me a bit on this.

Cleaning gutters with Traveler is fun.  Sure, it’s messy and a little tedious, but how great is it to be with someone that you HAVE FUN with while cleaning gutters?  We found out his cats have been pooping on the roof and were flinging it off of there and STILLLL had a good time.  In fact it was kinda hilarious.  There were many poop jokes.  It was a really shitty job.  Heh.

So after our adventures in roof and gutter cleaning we got dolled up a bit and went to one of the nicest dinners I’ve had in a while.  I was excited to be going out with Traveler.  It was this little tapas joint on a beach nearby and we splurged on a very lovely bottle of wine, a bunch of tiny delicious plates, and just had the nicest and most relaxing time.  I was feeling especially mushy, looking at his sweet face beaming with love there at the table and just told him emphatically, gushing with joy and feeling, “I’m so happy”.  I said so many things with that little statement.  We’d been talking about the kinda state of our union, and we were grinning like idiots, touching, laughing, making yummy noises.  Everything was so good… the food, the delicious wine… the rich fantastic coffee pressed at our table, the homemade baklava… the conversation.  Decadent.  His smile.  His laugh.  His sweet face and warm eyes.  Lovely. *Deep breath*

We kissed on the street and in the car.. passionate.  Warm.  Loving.  Hot.  I wanted him closer.. closer.. inside my body, no skin between us. Continue Reading »

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Lucky 700!

Last week we hit 700 subscribers to this blog.  Holy guacamole.


I have been away on training, and still am (but am ecstatically on my way home), so I haven’t yet told you and celebrated.  But here we are.. 700!  Damn that feels like a lot.  I’m telling you, and I say this with every milestone, but I never imagined.  Blogs are a tricky business and it’s wonderful is ANYONE reads them.

I’m planning some cool things though and I hope it’ll make it worth it.  I’m planning a more regular podcast, a piece Quinky Girl and I are working on together that will have some great research and some personal interest, and a blog series on some topics.  It’s exciting.  Again, I’d be thrilled to do things just for myself, but it’s wonderful that people actually read them or seem to like them.  It’s such an honor to be helpful here and there and/or to entertain or give you weirdos like me out there the proof that you aren’t alone.  I love that I’m not alone and thank you for that.  And for you non-weirdos.. or weirdos of different stripes, thank you too!

You guys rock.


What I Want

I’m enjoying it here at my work training in Virginia.. and it’s a good thing and I am meeting nice people at the training.  Having said all that.. I’m tired, and off and my digestive system is upset and I am sore.  I want my bed, and my people.  I want a nice glass of wine.  I want a hug.  

I talked to Cleveland tonight and played a tiny bit of WoW with Traveler.  My sweet loves told me really warmly how they loved me and gave me a little bit of their time.  So needed.

There is a serial killer here, and when I asked Traveler if the killer burned me too, (as he has 2 people this week) would Traveler come get some of my ashes and put them in a body of water.. (my wish for my remains). He promised he would and called me a pet name, humoring me.  

Cleveland might not be gone the entire weekend I get back too.. god I miss him.

I need a hug.  I need a kiss.  I need mushy sweet words.. just a few.  I’m gonna go try to fall asleep.  

Send me some hugs.  Please.  :(

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I’m not discarded or lonely, but I pine

I find it funny, no ironic, that I’ve tried every sort of life and found them all the same

because *I* was in them

I always took me when I wandered

and the licking at my heels isn’t chasing me.  It’s trailing.

it’s what I seek, create, build, maintain.  I yearn.  

and lately.. lately when I hold you I want to tell you things, all the things, spilling out of my heart

sometimes I can’t stop them and it’s like a reverse drowning, the ocean pouring out of me in my words

and they wash over you

you weather them and amazingly, return them

you fill me in ways I stopped hoping for a long time ago

I learned to be whole and complete a long time ago

even with my unending little want

and you touch me there, hold me there

for your own pure joy, with your very nature

I never knew there was another like me

and then.. here I am.. with this ache, this pine, this burn

and it’s delicious

falling asleep dreaming of you, wanting you





OMG.. so happy!

Good metamour relationship benefit #594. 

A woman triumphant in the rain on a stage from http://data3.whicdn.com/images/21247560/large.jpg

A woman triumphant in the rain on a stage from http://data3.whicdn.com/images/21247560/large.jpg

I had a date booked with Traveler for Saturday, a nice long one because he’s been outta town all week and I’ll be outta town all next week. Awesome.  Quinky Girl and Jonah planned a great date to celebrate their reunion after 3 weeks apart.  Also awesome.  But oops.. it’s on Friday.

This is not a huge thing, and schedules don’t align every once in a while, but it’s a lot easier now that our calendars sync. I didn’t have anything on Friday, and figured Traveler and I would just switch.  Quinky Girl popped up online today from where they are in California and asked if I was busy Friday night, saying she might send me some Traveler so she can have the house.  Quinky offered to have Traveler and I not move our date to Friday and for he and I just to have both nights (wow.. so fucking sweet) and I said of course that wouldn’t be necessary.  They need their time together too and I wasn’t busy Friday.  She pointed out they’d have the week together while I was gone and I told her that was awesome, but I didn’t need to be greedy.  Weekend dates are the best and she needs our man as much as I do.  I said instead, how about he and I just have a very leisurely morning together Saturday before I send him home and we all have maybe a football lunch on Sunday?  This way everyone would get lots of good time and I’d see him before I left Monday.  Excellent.

I told her I’d talk about it with him and sent him a message.  I told him what Quinky Girl and I had talked about, and asked what he thought about having our date Friday with a nice leisurely morning together and then some football and lunch on Sunday.  He said that sounded great.  The two of them got to talking there in Cali and didn’t answer the messengers for a minute, figuring things out, and he came back and asked if he could have Friday and Saturday.  I told him what I’d told her, and that I loved him and of course I always love time with him, but I didn’t need to be all greedy and the breakfast and football would be fine for great extra time.  He said he’d just talked it over and decided with Quinky Girl and could he have both nights?  Can you believe that?!?  He said they’d have the whole week together while I was gone and he was mine for both nights if I’d have him.

Traveller on Friday AND Saturday!?!?  Yes please! 

Isn’t she the fucking shit?  I won the metamour lottery for sure.  God.  I told her I wanted to eat her pussy for being as cool as she is.  And then I sent a message saying I meant that to be funny and not rapey.  Of course she’s hot and I’d be ecstatic to fuck her in the right circumstances, but one mustn’t sexually harass one’s metamour, especially when they’re being so fucking sweet and generous.

OMG.  I’m so happy!

What a great way to start my day and what a wonderful thing to think about all day as I’m busilly preparing to go away for a week.  A FRIDAY AND A SATURDAY with Traveler!  I’m beside myself with glee.  AND I get to see Cleveland tonight!  My cup runneth over and my furniture floats.


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Not So Butt-Hurt

It’s here.  We’re finally back on track and recording podcasts again.  We got away from it for a bit, but we’re back and we promise to keep them coming this time.  

heart buttClick here -> “Not So Butt Hurt” to hear the podcast for free on your computer or smart phone.

Here it is.  It’s about butt sex, butt play, and doing the butt.. aww.. sexy sexy!  Cleveland and I talk about lube lube and more lube, what not to do, how to try, and naughty little butt sex plans and fun.  We were going to call it butt hurt, but pain isn’t necessary with butt play.  Ohh.. varieties of sensation and sexy time anal sex fun.  – Podcast Number 16.  


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